Why Women Are Choosing To Date Guys Who Aren’t Their Age
“Guy’s my age don’t know how to treat me”- Hello Violet
Hello Violet’s lead singer, Rena Lovelis was nineteen years old when her hit song Guys My Age was released in 2016. For a nineteen-year-old, she understood and vocalized the issue of dating guys our age and now in 2019, three years later, women are choosing to date guys who are older than us by at least within 10 years. Why? Because in the famous words of Rena Lovelis and her band, Hello Violet “because he didn’t want to grow up”.
Psychological studies show that women cite maturity, stability, and confidence in any sort of romantic relationship. As a teenager, girls are more likely to mature faster than boys would since their hormonal and brain development starts for them at a much younger age. According to the UK Telegraph, girls begin their puberty development at the age of ten whereas boys tend to catch up by the time they reach the age of 20–24 years of age. In any adolescent relationship, the majority of females tend to be more responsible and think long-term in any romance situation. Adolescent males are more likely to think about the ‘right now’ and tend to be ‘going with the flow’.
Famous celebrities like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively (11 years), Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo (10 years) can be examples of ‘larger age gap’. Whereas in real life that’s the maximum age gap most people go for. Social studies also indicate that people who are together within that ten year age gap are more likely to stay together and have a happier relationship. Women mainly do this due to the ability to being able to see eye-to-eye with a man who has matured faster than men their own age. Others might say it could be the possibility that men are more likely to relate to them since their maturity might just be at level with someone that is younger. They’re more likely to make the same decisions and not have conflict in their relationship.
According to an Oakland University Study in 2018, outsiders, of a relationship believe girls who are dating older males, are likely to believe there is a power imbalance between the male and female. Despite it being an observation and stereotype (in some cases this can be true). Onlookers are more likely to feel uncomfortable about seeing a woman (around the age of 19–25) with a man at a maximum seven-ten years older than herself. Defeating the stereotype of women having ‘daddy issues’ is harder nowadays than it would’ve been several decades ago. Realistically when you're looking at the social-psychological research that is undertaken into this, women are dating guys older than them because our generation is fucked.
There I said it: OUR GENERATION IS FUCKED!
We’re in a generation we’re hookups and nudes mean more than late-night conversations. We are so focused on the physical more than the mental and emotional connection that we’re having.
Here is a quick little storytime. I had a friend who had been in a relationship with a guy the same age as her for two years. They were on and off throughout high school. Most of their issues being about him not having long-term goals and visions for their relationship, and there were no solutions to other problems they were having. Some of those problems being about how he prioritised himself over her (even on her birthday). After she turned nineteen they had just broken up and she went to university in another state. She then began dating someone who was at least five years older than she was. He had a stable job, he was self-aware, mature and had long term goals that also involved her after a certain stage in the relationship. They were able to communicate their needs and see eye to eye. After four years of being together, they got engaged. One thing that she had mentioned was that the part of our generation isn’t as committing and orientated as it once was. Sure, we are more education and career-focused than we are to social norms set for us by Boomers (sorry had to make that reference), but there is a certain nature to the dating and hook-up culture that is of 2019–2020. Obviously our hookups won’t continue to the end of time. Eventually, we will want to settle down, and if we don’t- that’s okay.
I know for a fact that I get along with people older than me than I do with people my age. Maybe it’s because I’m more mature and I don’t feel like being a booty call, or maybe it’s because they’re more like me. Other possibilities being that they want the same things and we might have the same interests. Which is probably why I tend to date people two or three years older than me who think like me and are straight forward with their emotions and intentions.
Women aren’t dating older guys for their money, daddy kinks, gender imbalance or for exploitative purposes vice versa. They’re dating guys a little older because maybe they're more likely to settle down and commit to something more serious. Because they’re a few years older they have more experience and are physically and emotionally maturer, and possibly ready to really commit to someone on the same page.
