Dear Boys, A Letter on Sexual Harassment
Dear Boys,
One day you will have a daughter, and by the time she’s thirteen years old- she would have been bullied for what clothes she wears, what music she listens to and what group of friends she hangs out with. Not only these factors contribute to this, but her body and appearance will.
As soon as she goes to high school, boys will start to notice her. Not for her taste in music or pop culture or for her academic skills, or her personality. But for her body.
One day, she’s going to wear a simple pair of shorts and a shirt. She will let her hair down and put make up on her face. She will grab her bag and tell you and your wife/her mother that she’ll be home tonight before midnight. Then she will get into the car of a friend and drive to a house party on the other side of town.
There she will be drunk, drinking alcohol and talking to all her peers. She will laugh and act stupid. But one boy takes a particular notice of her. He will talk to her, flirt, and then take her to the bedroom upstairs away from everybody else. He will try to touch her in places you wouldn’t want your daughter touched. Your daughter keeps saying ‘no’ and ‘stop’ but he doesn’t listen.
By the end of the night- she will be labelled as the ‘drunk slut who was begging for it’.
At some point in her life, she will start texting a boy. She thinks he likes her, and that she can trust him, especially when he starts pressuring her for photos. Without regrets or consequences, she will send them and he will share them. Ruining her reputation and creating her to become the ‘slut who should have known better’.
Eventually your daughter will graduate high school and move out of home to go to college/university. You and your wife won’t have to worry about her, since she will be a young, responsible adult who can handle anything and everything.
But no.
She’s going to be catcalled, slut-shamed and cyber-harassed when she’s away. And you will have no idea. She will go to parties where boys touch her in places she doesn’t want to be touched. Then they take photos of her and post it all over their Instagram feeds, Facebook pages and Snapchat Stories.
If she makes it, she will go onto having a career.
She will work just as hard as the men in her office. She will work long hours, leading into night. But she will be talked about behind her back. She will go to work wearing a ‘revealing blouse’ or a ‘too short a skirt’. She will go for a promotion and won’t recieve it due to her ‘looks and apparences’ or the fact that she is married and has a child to support.
If she ever receives a high promotion, she will be underestimated and used in that workplace for a man’s benefit- visually and mentally. She will get asked out on dates through inappropriate emails and discrete meetings held when the door is closed.
So boys, understand this- the girl your dating, talking to or the girl your sitting next to could be your daughter. She will at some point in her lifetime face any of the scenarios listed in this letter.
So treat her as you would want your daughter treated by a man.
